what makes you a designer?
posted 2004.08.20
I am catching up on the absurdly large pile of unread posts in my Bloglines, because I've had my head down working like a dog for the better part of two weeks on a big project for Pampered Puppy.
And so, in my catching up, I ran across a amusing and thought-provoking post from une very stylish fille called The Inferiority Thing:
After hours and hours of tinkering, editing, and creating layouts the world will never see, I'll go to bed convinced that I'll never be as good a designer as I want to be. Or, if I'm feeling especially masochistic, I'll go through my bookmarks and end up hating myself because I'm not as good as they are.
Which is even more amusing for me to read within her new design, which is just so pretty and clean, it makes my teeth ache.
Colleen (and others of you who read the above quote and found yourselves nodding), I feel your pain. Every day. Ask my old co-workers at Masterfile. I would sit on my lunch and flip through stunningly designed site after site, moaning out loud that I would give my eyeteeth for just 1/100th of their talent.
I started out young with my love for design; my mom collected literally every interior design magazine known to man, bookcase after bookcase of them, and she infected me with her love and enthusiasm for it. So much so that, imagining that anyone could learn to be a designer, I enrolled in a 3 year interior design course at the local college after finishing high school.
Four months later, exhausted from 100 hour weeks of homework and school, and with a nifty collection of C's and D's to my credit (this from an A+ student all through highschool!) I decided to drop out. My teachers did not think I was a designer.
Several years later, I started Pathway to Darkness. *laughs* And I'm sure my visitors did not think I was a designer. Here's a sample from 1997. But I kept redesigning the site - at least once a year. Because I wanted to learn.
A few years after that, I got the job at Masterfile. And was SO intimidated because for the first time, after working for banks and security companies, I was in the presence daily of people who Had A Visual Eye. I followed these people around like a puppy dog, trying to learn. I was told repeatedly by my boss that I was not a designer, and Didn't Have An Eye.
I ignored everyone who said it. Teachers, bosses, visitors, to heck with all of them. I played in Photoshop anyway. I visited web sites that inspired and delighted me. I asked my friends and coworkers for advice, ideas. I sat with one particular lady and just asked her over and over how she "knew what worked".
I also read. My friends gave me the most valuable gift in my design career: a copy of The Non-Designer's Design Book and The Non-Designers Type Book. It was a revelation. If you find yourself continually frustrated by your own limitations, and don't have any formal training in design, they are more than worthwhile books; they're the two books in my library I never lend out.
I also looked. I was lucky that for four years I worked in a place where new and creative visual images were always available to me, like a constant stream of inspiration.
I also practiced. There are literally dozens of angiemckaig.com designs you'll never see, because I was never satisfied with them. But to this day, one of my favourite activities is cracking open Photoshop, opening a fresh blank 800 x 600 image, and trying to make something beautiful. I'm not always successful, to say the least! But it's the process that I find incredibly soothing.
And so now, I design. Amusingly, some people even think I'm a designer. Maybe I am. I don't know what the word means so much any more. What I do know is that my heart is lifted by looking at deliciously pretty things, whether it's art or architecture or photography or stunning web design. And I try to take a little away from each of them, like a mental scrapbook of inspiration.
I still ache when I look at gorgeous design and wish my talents were better, my ability to execute what's in my head more exact. I still carry around the echoes in my head of the people who have told me I'm not a designer - and on bad days, those voices can be pretty loud and intimidating. But in the end, for me, the most satisfying thing of all is being able to go into Photoshop and create something that *I* like, that inspires me or makes me smile. And teachers, bosses, visitors... they can still all go to heck.
I design for me. And maybe in the end, that's what makes a person a designer.
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When my own head kept telling me I wasn't a designer, I chickened out and became a programmer. While I'm not constantly worried about living up to other designers expectations now, I still find myself looking at beautiful websites, being envious, and trying to create my own beautiful websites. Some days I think I should have gone to art school.
Yes, thank you for this post. I want to be a designer so badly it hurts and I feel I can never be at their level... Actually your site is one of those sites I have bookmarked that serve as inspiration.
Thanks so much for posting your thoughts on this - you reiterated *exactly* what I experience on a daily basis. Sometimes it feels like a constant struggle but we're doing something that we love so its gotta be all worth it in the end. I hope :)
*blush* Thank you for that :)
Maybe we feel this way because the design world is so clearly divided between great, decent, and downright horrible. I know there are people out there who slap together a page with that AOL pagemaker and call themselves designers. And here we are, people who've been knee deep in design for years, and we won't dare say "Yes, I am a designer!" It's like as soon as you embrace that, the bar is raised even higher. Then you have to compete with the big dogs.
My goal for the week is to NOT look at websites and hate myself because of what other people can do. I know, in my heart, that I can create beautiful things. I mean, if you look at it objectively, a lot of "elite" websites look the same! I'm not formally trained but I know that my talent can carry me a lot further than any label can.
I think we all feel bound by our limitations. It's something I feel everyday as I see designers who are better than me, writers who are better than me and even photographers who are better than me.
But rather it's not other people you should judge yourself against, but yourself. I have learned to look back at my previous work in comparison to my current work and realize how much I have grown, as a designer, writer and photographer over the years.
I try and use my comparison to others as a way of setting the bar higher for myself as opposed to a bar to hinder my own improvement.
Remember we are our own worst critics and our biggest obstactle is often ourselves not our abilities.
Have you ever read "Drawing on the right side of the brain"? It's a useful book. It makes you remember that the only limitations are the ones that you place on yourself and if you can look at things in a different way, you can pretty much achieve whatever you want.
It's amazing once you think about switching between sides of your brain to do different tasks.
I hate people who when asked why they're so talented, they just say: "I don't know, I guess i'm just gifted" - which is completely wrong. They're just used to using a different part of their brain from an early age. So, you can use that part of your brain as well and train it up.
Anyone can draw, anyone can do maths - it just involves a shift in your brain from left to right and vice versa.
Vincent Van Gogh didn't do art all his life, he just picked it up and went from there.
A quote:
"...at the time when you spoke of my becoming a painter, I thought it very impractical and would not hear of it. What made me stop doubting was reading a clear book on the perspective, Cassange's Guide to the ABC of Drawing: and a week later I drew the interior of a kitchen, with stove, chair, table and window - in there places and on their legs - whereas before it has seemed to me that getting depth and the right perspective into a drawing was witchcraft or pure chance."
- Vincent Van Gogh, in a letter to his brother Theo, who has suggested that Vincent become a painter.
So, I consider you a designer, as that is what you have made yourself to be. You worked hard to become one, you used that side of your brain more and here you are today - doing what you always wanted to do and doing it well.
There you go, my weird view on life. Glad to know you like vampires, i'm gothic and very much into the 80's goth scene, so I like them too :P
A really wonderful and inspiring post, thank you.
I definitely was one of the people giving a 'head nod' to the quote at top. I have been in or around web development since 1996, done hundreds of pages, know more web coding languages than I care to recite yet I still do not feel like a 'designer'. Why?
I was never formally trained in anything graphically related, my degree is in Information Technology, a definitively UN-creative field. I chose to specialize in web design and web programming, it seemed to be what I'm good at, and I am - more or less - satisfied with my work. But on the same token I'm still going to go "Wow." and begin a brief period of self-hatred at my abilities when I encounter 'one of those' sites.
So what can we do? Practice. A good designer will tell you to 'Copy and Modify' - take what works and make it better. When you find one of those sites that makes you go 'Wow' take a screenshot, save it, collect them and look them up later for inspiration, color schemes, and typography. Reading books is also a definite help, I should read more but I am simply to busy. Regardless, there is much we can do that will make us 'good' designers, the only thing seperating us from the 'good' and 'great' is belief in yourself. The rest will come.
I think everyone who designs sees more beauty in what other people create than in our own work.
For an IT professional with no design training at all it took me ages to produce something that I could be proud of. Thankfully the beautiful sites on the web produce as much inspiration as they do despair :)
Thanks for the post. Though I'll never be designer, I love pushing objects around the screen and seeing the end result.
I'm at the level where I've produced a few flyers and booklets for the company where I work in customer support. Aside from a non-profit web site, it may be all I ever do design-wise-- but it's fun and very satisfying.
are u married to the muffin man? if u are how many mufins does he make a yr? ive got a muffin for lunch today and im very happy about it :) hope ure having a fabulos day!!
merry christmas
as an undergrad graphic design student about to hit "the real world," i dont know how many times ive been similarly discouraged by my lack of ability, initiative, etc., so i know exactly where you're coming from - that quote just hit me in the face, making me almost scream "holy crap, thats totally me!"
anyway, thank you for the uplifting post. it's great to know i'm not the only one in this situation.
I've never been taught design, never even did art at school. I'm used to be one of the people I now hate, you know the kids who learn html and start charging low prices to build websites. I used to build websites just for the sake of it - to have a website. These days the only website I have is my blog which hasn't really got anything to do with design at all save the occasional post.
It seems the more I learn about design the less I instinctively flaunt what I can do wherever possible. I have a part-time job working on css for a site and constantly get frustrated by being asked to do things that are a real challenge to get right yet can see the "top" designers doing seemingly perfect all the time.
Great post though, whilst you're much further along with design than me a lot of your remarks ring true to me already.
i feel what you feel everytime a make a new layout, i always think im not good enough but then i think that i will get better and saying that im not good enough wont take me there. dont mind those people who doesnt think your a design, your good in your own way.
Wow, thanks for posting this. I'm glad I stumbled upon it. I'm 48yro, just starting out with graphic design classes. I too was inspired by the Non-designers books, and even modern day scrapbooking, but I have lots of trepidation about rather or not I am cut out do graphic design. I have a growing passion for it, but your post reinforces for me that I'm going to have clear my table to produce a lot more if I'm ever to come to speed and do graphic designing on a professional level. Will definitely RSS your site and check out more of what you have to say.
Thanks for this entry! I am actually a painter. I want to shift into designing too. I feel so frustrated, and thanks for letting me know that I am not alone.
BTW...Looking at this site? I ache! =)
More power!
*sigh*
I wish I could make a site as classy as this.. for some reason everything I design has to have yellow-green in it, which I LOVE, but it makes some people feel nauseous..
I always torment myself with those sites on css beauty and css mania too, and think well, I'll never be that good.. its so depressing!
I was also, like you, told I would never be a designer, I was refused from the graphic design course because they didnt think I was artistic enough..
I probably have been the only person at times, that believed I could do this thing! Its a stange dichotomy, to believe you can be great at something, but at the same time, think you'll never be good enough for your own standards!!
Nice blog, thanks!!! :)
your an artist - the term has lost all meaning- sometimes i use "a creative" instead. Its all about the process. We have been taught for most our lives that its all about the product but that is the negative result of the Industrial Revolution. Its mind pollution. One of my other struggles is when people either say or give the unspoken impression that design and art is an "anyone can do that" thing and that an artist or creative, designer is not needed. That pisses me off. Last week i gave someone some samples of for a T-shirt they wanted to make and then they wanted the ai files so they could copy it and use it for the t-shirt because they didnt want to pay me for my design. we live in this kind of world keep processing, educating and consuming art.

Thanks for the inspiring post. I thought I would never be a "designer" either. Luckily, hard work pays off and I finally found my own voice and have more confidence to take on design projects.
I also rented my space at the graphic design section in Barnes & Nobles. :)